Dark Thoughts

Hello.  Thank you for finding this blog.  I hope you read through this and decide to stay and keep coming back for more.  This post is just a little introduction as to what to expect from here.

I’ve had a couple of blogs in the past, but they’ve been open with me freely acknowledging who I am.  Not this time.  I want this blog to remain anonymous.  I have many thoughts and feelings that I am not comfortable sharing as a known entity at this point.  Why?  I think it is a mixture of shame and fear.  Many of the thoughts I hold are not readily accepted in polite society.  So, I’m afraid of people finding out this about me as well as my own self-loathing and cringing over some of the things I think.  I often wonder what the fuck is the matter with me.  In all honesty, probably nothing.  But, these overriding feelings of angst don’t do much to liberate me.  Perhaps this blog will help.

The fact that I’m not going to say who I am doesn’t mean that I won’t introduce myself a little bit.  I’m a middle aged guy living in the north-central part of the United States.  I’ve been married and divorced twice, and I’m currently in a long term relationship with a woman for the past few years.  She’s very sweet and loving, and I do have strong feelings for her.  But, I feel like something is missing from it all.  I think it is probably my insecurities that drive this.  My head can be a tangle of contrarian thought at times.

What does “Dark and Secret Thoughts” refer to?  Well, all sorts of things, I guess.  Primarily, it’s my depression.  As the title implies, my thoughts are dark and secretive.  I’d rather not let those around me know about them because they can be unsettling.  It also refers to the sexual fantasies that I hold.  I’ll get into more detail about those later, but be aware that there will be adult content here.  Actually, I should probably state that this blog really is geared towards those over the age of 18 and is NSFW.  That’s not to say that every blog post will be full of profanity, sex, and violence, but it is just a good idea to be aware of it.

I know that the description of this blog may have you rolling  your eyes some.  I get that.  I’m just asking that  you give it a chance, and I’d love to hear from you if you have any ideas or thoughts on how to make this better or if there is something specific you want me to write about.  Thanks for stopping by and reading through this post.  I’ll be back within the next few days with my first “real” post.

2 thoughts on “Dark Thoughts

  1. Of one thing I’m sure… you are not alone in harbouring dark thoughts. In feeling alienated from those around you. The great thing about this little corner of the net is we can be true to ourselves and create a space where our minds and souls can breathe: in doing so, hopefully our ‘tribe’ will find us.
    I’m glad I’ve found you… keep writing.

    Liked by 1 person

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