I’m feeling depressed today.  I’m not sure why exactly.  Looking in from the outside, there’s really no rhyme or reason why.   But, that is the nature of the beast, I suppose.  It may not help that I forgot to take my Zoloft this morning, but I’ve forgotten that once or twice before and I was fine during the day.

It might be that I’m just tired.  I certainly feel a bit sleepy.  We’ve had a stretch of some really hot weather and that always wears me out.  Highs in the 90’s with humidity to match.  I’m not made to do well in that sort of heat.  As a result, I hadn’t been sleeping well.  Fortunately, we had a cold front move in last night that brought lots of rain and much cooler temps.  The sleep was better than it had been, and I’m hoping for the same tonight.

I do wish I could get some better sleep on a regular basis.  I think a lot of my struggle sleeping is my weight.  If I could lose some, then the snoring wouldn’t be as bad and the quality of sleep better.  I know that I do need to lose weight, but I have a hard time eating right.  Food is just too good.

There I go rambling again.  That’s just an issue of mine in general.  I seem to stray from topic to topic, whether that be in writing, work, conversation, or whatever.  Sometimes it is fine, sometimes it is annoying.  I feel like it has held me back at times and that I lack the concentration to really put things together.  As I get older, I find it harder to concentrate.  Working with a bunch of youngsters can be a bit discouraging at times, but I have to remember that I have the life experience that they don’t.  Or so I tell myself.

Okay, back to the topic at hand.  I have good and bad days.  I’m wondering if I need to up my medication.  I do have a doctors appointment next week with a new doctor, so it would be a good time to discuss things.  I generally feel like there’s a piece missing somewhere and that I’m not quite whole.  I’m tired of feeling that way.  I want to be whole.  I know that there will be times where things aren’t quite right, but I wish for that to be the exception, rather than the rule.

I have to admit I feel a little better after writing all of this today, so I’m going to end it here.  Thanks as always for reading, and I’ll see you soon.

5 thoughts on “Depressed

  1. Depression sucks! I have to fight it too, some days are wonderful and others I have to fight the little blue depression guy. (I picture him as a sad cartoon) There will be nothing wrong in my life and still I feel sad and I have to talk myself out of it. You have to remember that the pills do not rid you completely of depression or depressed thoughts, it just helps you through them. Of course not getting enough sleep does not help you feel happy either. I’m glad that you are going to the doctor soon, I hope that it helps! I started with 25 mg of zoloft and now I am on 150mg. Whatever works.
    Also I take Melatonion at night. I started with 5 mg and now take 10mg a night….it changed my life! I no longer lay down at night and rehash my day…or week….or something that happened 20 years ago 🙂
    Sleep tight!

    Liked by 1 person

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