Panties

Okay, I’ve alluded to this enough, I’m just going to come (or is it cum?) right out and say that I have a panty fetish.  The roots of it go back many, many years to when I was a kid.  I can’t say for sure how long ago, because I can’t pinpoint it, but whenever the Sears catalog showed up, I’d take my time going through it.  I’d spend the most time on the toys when I was around eight or nine years old, but I would also spend a fair amount of time in the women’s underwear section.  I would become aroused and get erections, but because I wasn’t fully familiar with my sexuality just yet, I really didn’t know what was going on.  I just knew that I liked looking at those pictures and the associated feelings they created.

As I grew older and became more aware of sex, I would frequently use those sections of the catalogs to masturbate, especially if I did not have any porn stashed away in my room.  Any little bit of visual material was enough for me to use to get the deed done.  I’ve always had an active imagination, and it did not take much for me to make the leap from underwear to nothing.

I think it was late in my high school years that I made the leap from just looking at pictures in catalogs to real panties.  I remember once my step-brother and his girlfriend came to stay for the weekend, and they shared the bedroom below mine.  They were out and about doing something.  Come to think of it, I may have been the only one home at the time, or at least the only one in the house.  I walked by the room they were staying in, and noticed an open duffel bag on the floor.  Even though I knew better, I poked my head in and saw a pair of panties just tossed on the top.  Being the horny teenager that I was, I stepped in and picked them up.  I saw they were dirty, so I raised them to my nose and gave a little sniff.  I could smell her scent on them, and well, I was instantly turned on.  I put them back where I found them, went up to my room, and took care of business.

I don’t think anyone knew anything was out of place.  Yes, it was an invasion of privacy, and I offer no excuse for that.  I should not have done that, but I did.

The next panty adventure I had was in grad school.  I was living in an apartment complex and went to do my laundry one night.  When the washer had finished and I was going to place my clothes in there, I discovered that someone had left a pair behind.  What I should have done was just set them on the top of the dryer so the owner could reclaim them.  What I did, though, was stuff them in my pocket and take them back to my apartment with me.  I would occasionally use them to masturbate and for the first time, I would wear a pair of women’s underwear.  If I remember right, they were cotton panties, peach in color.  Nothing fancy, but I remember how excited and turned on I was when I put them on.  At the time, I would only wear them for a few minutes at a time.  Somewhere along the way, I got rid of them.

Fast forward several years, and I’m married for the first time and my son had just been born.  I don’t remember the circumstances, but the desire to wear panties really flared up.  I went so far as to go to Victoria’s Secret and purchase a couple of thongs and a bra.  This was late December 1999, and I was assigned to work overnight on New Year’s Eve into New Year’s Day, 2000.  Remember, this was the Y2K scare.  I can’t remember where my wife and son were, but I think they were with her family or something for New Year’s.  I wore the bra around the house, but I decided I was going to wear the thong to work that night.  It was an incredible and amazing experience.  I loved it.  I walked around that night in a semi-aroused state.

Unfortunately, shortly after that night, my marriage unraveled.  My soon to be ex found my underwear and I had to come clean that they were mine.  She didn’t believe me, I don’t think.  She also told my mom about it.  I was embarrassed to say the least.  My underwear wearing days were over for a bit at that point.

Since then, though, the fascination has continued.  I’ve gone through phases where I would buy underwear and wear them on a regular basis.  There was something about feeling my cock snug against me in a pair of panties that soothed me.  I’ve thought about going a step further and really dressing up, but I haven’t gone that far yet.

The last time I had some women’s underwear was within the last six months or so.  I had shared this fetish with the woman who extorted me earlier this year and she had bought me a pair.  I wore them only once and was dumb enough to take pictures and send them to her.  Anyway, that’s not the point of this post.  I had taken them off and stuffed them into one of my dresser drawers wrapped in a pair of shorts.  Not too long ago, I went to look for them primarily to throw them out because I did not want reminders of that time, but I could not find them.  I have a feeling my SO found them and did something with them.  I haven’t asked and she hasn’t said anything.

I have often thought about bringing this up with her, but she has made comments in the past about guys who do that are disturbed.  That worries me some.  I feel like I have to hide a piece of myself away out of fear of being ridiculed.  I have no desire to be a woman, but I’d be more than happy to be a little sub slut to a woman who gets turned on by that sort of thing.  I would also enjoy wearing something silky and sexy under my clothes to work every once and awhile, being conscious of that material sliding against my cock while trying to hide an erection.

I make no apologies for who I am.  It’s part of the package of me.  If someone can’t deal with it, then that’s on them.  So, there’s another thing you know about me.  And you know what?  It feels really fucking amazing to share that, albeit anonymously.  So, thank you as always for taking the time to read me.  I’ll see you next time.

4 thoughts on “Panties

  1. You are not ‘disturbed’ who said lace and silk are just for ladies and why do they get to choose anyway? I love the feel of silk stockings, texture always makes me feel good it can be a velvet cloak or crisp cotton sheets. I’m a Scorpio apparently it’s one of those Scorpio things to enjoy touch of any kind. Because I’m female this is ‘okay’ but who gets to choose…

    Now, if it’s the illicitness of doing something ‘naughty’ like wearing panties that gets you off is that so ‘disturbed’ too? No, sorry it’s not, I get a kick out of pinching an extra nectarines from the fruit bowl, I’m so kinky 🙄

    I think this is quite a healthy kink to enjoy!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree that this is a healthy kink. It’s taken me awhile to get this point, but quite frankly, I enjoy it. Anytime I’m in a store that sells clothing, I’ll cast a side glance at the women’s underthings department just to see what is there. I have yet to build up the courage to wander through there to see what I can find for myself, but one of these days….

      On a side note, one of the “side effects” of me putting this stuff to paper (so to speak) is that I’m feeling better about these so called deviant behaviors and I realize that it is all good! Thanks for your comment and your continued reading.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. This is kinda funny to me because I have such an addiction to lingerie and what you’ve written about, reminds me of myself in many ways. For years I was under the impression that I couldn’t wear all the sexy stuff on a daily basis. In fact, my mother-in-law came over one day and saw that I had just bought a new nightie. She said, “Oh! Planning a special night with him?” I nearly burst out laughing because, I probably own at least 50 nighties and wear them everyday, not just for a “special occasion.” Lol… So I think it’s funny how people associate these things to sort of be off limits on regular occasion. I think you should enjoy more of wearing what makes you feel good about yourself. I have hundreds of panties myself and keep buying more. I just can’t help myself! Lol… 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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